The thoughts of Irine

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Got molested recently?

Reading Nindya's blog about being molested brings back old memories.

Where should I start from?

The worst one then. When I was going to junior high school in Jakarta, I was in a bajaj with my cousin, going home. Some guy walked past, reached into the bajaj and grabbed my boob. And then he walked away before I even came to sense what had happened. Thinking about it now, 10 years later, I still cringe and a hot sensation creeps up to my face.

So that's the physical molestation, what about the other types of molestation? My situation is made worse by the fact that I am: female, Chinese and I have big boobs. Countless times I've had guys leer at me and strip me with their eyes. I've had guys call me rude names because I'm both female and Chinese.

I remember going through a passageway in the markets where my mum's shop is, walking quickly as 2 guys started calling me rude names and one of them tried to touch me! I managed to move away but that left me shaken. I got to my mum's shop and couldn't say anything about it. I was so scared.

I got molested so much that it became a part of life that I try to minimise. I wore baggy clothes when I know I'm going to places where there are lots of uneducated, shitty guys. If not, I'll walk with my bag tightly clutched to my chest.

I still feel so angry about it but I wonder why I could never talk about this? It's only after I moved to Sydney that I was able to talk about it with hubby. Was it because it's so common that I knew people will just pat me in the back and tell me to be more careful next time? Like as if it was my own stupidity or carelessness that brought the situation upon myself?

I don't know... this issue's got the weight of the world to it and I don't have the answers.

irine @ 10:34 AM | # 0 comments

Contacts

I wear contacts nowadays. Glasses gives me skin problems because I keep adjusting it and touching my face with my dirty hands.

It's the third month now that I'm wearing contacts again and I have to say that in the beginning I really didn't enjoy the whole experience. When I went back to my optitrician, she told me that maybe I'm allergic to the solvent. Luckily I'm not. And I would be totally surprised if I was because I used to wear contacts when I was at uni and never had problems with the solvent.

Contacts in Australia is bloody freaking expensive. Luckily, my brother was nice enough to help me get some in Indo and asked his friend to give it to me.

Hubby likes me with contacts better. He thinks I look like a geek when I have glasses on.

The hardest thing about wearing contacts is that it gets really dry at the train station because it gets really windy when a train passes by.

Contacts reminds me of S, how she puts them on and takes them off in split seconds, and puts on her glasses when we get to her house.

irine @ 10:18 AM | # 0 comments

sick, sick, sick

I have this bad habit of typing the same word three times in a row.

Feeling a bit down today. Haven't been 100% for a while and I think sometimes I just need to inhale and relax.

mau berhenti dari kerjaannnnnnnn... keputusan diambil tadi pagi setelah mandi. Dan akhirnya ga pergi kerja. LOL...

My friend told me her psychic said this year is a hard year for me because I have to make difficult decisions. Maybe this is one of it.

Wish me luck!!!

irine @ 10:09 AM | # 3 comments

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Thoughts while I was in the bathroom

The best simplest feeling in the whole wide world is waking up in the morning, realising it's Saturday morning and I don't have to wake up early to go to work. And to top that off, I can do this again tomorrow on Sunday.

Sunday night is the fastest night of the week. Unless of course if I have the Monday off, so that would mean Monday night is the fastest night of the week. Or if I have Monday and Tuesday off, so Tuesday night would be the fastest night... and so on. You get what I mean.

They should stop dedicating TV hours to Michael Jackson. Yes, he's dead. Feel sorry for any deaths. But come on, remember all the paedophilia lawsuits and the kids he shared beds with? I want real news, not MJ news!!!

Labels: random

irine @ 10:15 PM | # 0 comments

Saturday, June 27, 2009

new find

Already Gone
.........
Hardest Times

by Snob Scrilla

Lyrics to .........

it's been a year since you last called
hey but that's nobody's fault
maybe that's just where we are
maybe that's just where we're at
where i wake up every morning
in the arms of another
knowing i'll never love her

Chorus
cause she'll never be you
no she'll never be you
said she'll never be you
that's why the love it just wont be true
cause that's not where i belong
said that's not where i belong
my heart knows where i belong
with you is where i belong

so
every night before i sleep
i get down on bended knees
and i pray and i pray and i pray, i pray
that i'll never wake from dreams
where you were mine
sleep scapes take me back into time cause

Chorus
cause she'll never be you
no she'll never be you
said she'll never be you
that's why the love it just won't be true
cause that's not where i belong
said that's not where i belong
my heart knows where i belong
with you is where i belong

you belong, i belong, together
belong, you belong, i belong together
we belong, we belong, you belong with me
and i belong with you and we belong, we belong, we belong together

--> I just really like the song!!!

irine @ 7:39 PM | # 0 comments

This way home!